As with any strangely dedicated group of people, our local swimming group have developed their own language. Here are a few terms and phrases to allow you to properly converse with our oddest of odd bunches:
Bioprene
Definition: Bioprene is used to describe body fat.
Usage: “I’m packing a bit more heat than you as I have more bioprene.”
Swuggle
Definition: A swuggle is a non swimming friend.
Usage: “I can’t come swimming today I have some swuggles coming to visit.”
Calorie Window
Definition: A calorie window is the half hour time period after an open water swim during which no calories count. You can eat whatever you want during this period.
Usage: “I’ve bought muffins and cake for the calorie window.”
Fresh Water Jellyfish
Definition: A fresh water jellyfish is a nettle that has been cut and is floating in the river.
Usage: “Bloody b@$&ard fresh water jellyfish just stung me!”
Wimpsuit
Definition: Wimpsuit is a derogatory term for a wetsuit.
Usage: “No, of course you can’t wear a wimpsuit, this is swimming not bondage.”
Tansor
Definition: A Tansor is a measurement of current used almost solely by me. It’s measure by how many seconds it takes for a stick to float a third of the jetty at Tansor Rowing Club.
Usage: “The river was at 6 Tansors when we had the mega flood but now it’s back to it’s normal 50 Tansors.”
The Black Plague
Definition: Derogatory term for either a person wearing a wetsuit of a group of people in wetsuits.
Usage: “Looks like he’s got the Black Plague.” Or “I’ve been swimming all winter and I turned up today and the Black Plague were everywhere.”
Tricky
Definition: Tricky describes a swim that will end in certain death.
Usage: “These ice covered rapids look tricky.”
Toasty
Definition: Toasty describes water temperature ranging from absolute zero Kelvin up to about 8C after which it’s referred to as tropical.
Usage: “Man alive, this water is toasty today.”
Tropical
Definition: Tropical describes water temperature over 8C.
Usage: “Blimey, this water is tropical today.”
Let me know of any of your in jokes, terms and phrases either in the comments bit below or on twitter here: DanielMartinAdv